From "YES!" to "NEVER."

   

If you would ask me if to turn back time,
I would probably jump around saying

“YES PLEASE!”

If you would ask me what my regrets are,

I would probably answer you with

“There’s too many to mention.”

The first time I realized I regret something was when I lost my father. I regret being selfish. I regret the times that I was out spending time with my friends instead of my family.

There was a time when I asked my father if I could go out with my friends. He immediately said yes. I went out with my friends and spent hours with them. I didn't notice that it was already late until I looked at the time; it was 8:30 pm. When I went back home my father was furious. I didn't know they haven’t eaten because they waited for me. I was ashamed of myself. My father lectured me about being late and not calling. I was bawling like a little kid right in front of him. He never got a chance to lecture me again. I never got the chance to hear his lectures again. I regret being selfish, careless, clueless and dumb.

I had lots of regrets after those events. I am a person who is really mean and I can’t seem to really take a good control of my anger. Whenever I got mad at my siblings, I tend to spat ruthless and hurtful words to them. I immediately regret venting out my anger after that.

I regret being so gullible.

I regret being so gullible to words that have been said meaninglessly but I thought they were meaningful anyway. I am that gullible.

I regret putting myself before my family.

I regret putting myself before my family when the only thing that they've been doing was putting me before them.

I regret most of the choices.

I regret most of the choices I’ve made that lead to me being like this.

Those regrets made me wish I was Aladdin so that I could have three wishes. I would wish to turn back time, to make everything right again. Those regrets made me wish that day never happened.

But then again, when I think about it, if I didn't make those choices then I wouldn't have learned anything. I wasn’t the way I was before then I wouldn't be who I am now. If I didn't regret anything then I wouldn't have learned something. It is because regrets are lessons in disguise. Those are there to teach us and show us something. It is up to us to take those lessons positively or negatively.

In my case, I took those lessons positively.

So if you ask me now what my regrets are,

I would answer you with

“Nothing.”

And if you ask me now to turn back time,

I would shake my head and tell you,

“I would NEVER.”