"Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness. " - Marianne Williamson
Could you ever forgive that someone who has done the UNTHINKABLE to you? Would you ever forgive that someone who gave you FALSE HOPES? Will you ever forgive the one who SHATTERED YOUR HEART into tiny pieces like it was some kind of unwanted piece of glass? Would you ever forgive someone who made you look like a FOOL? Should those people be forgiven? Can you handle the thoughts of "what if I forgave him/her" in your head? Are you going to be the one who is going to forgive and just forget?I have had a lot of problems in my life, from really little ones to those problems that you wouldn't even think I had. I have had love problems, family problems, friend problems, and other types of problems. I even heard a friend I considered as my best friend say unacceptable things about me behind my back. I was a mess after that but I acted like I heard nothing. I also had someone who led me on and acted like he had feelings for me when there really was nothing. I was really a mess after that but I also acted like it was nothing. Those problems hurt me so much that I felt like my heart was being stabbed with invisible needles hurting me unexpectedly. I have forgiven those people who did those things to me and I am really trying to forget those problems. Those are all in the past now and we can never change what happened.
But, there is a certain problem that I can never forget. It is that problem that I can never share with anyone, not on this blog, not even with my mother. It is like a dirty little secret I am trying to hide from everyone. It is a problem I've been trying to run away from for the past couple of years in my life. I thought I have forgiven the one who has done wrong, but never was I so wrong. I have never forgiven and I have never forgotten. It always comes back.
After thinking about it, I realized that the reason why it always comes back is that I have never forgiven and I have never forgotten. I have forgiven the other people that gave me minor problems but I ran away from that one problem and now it is eating me up inside. I really want to move on and be happy with my life but the problem is holding me back. It is like I am tied to metallic chain on a wall and I can't move. I don't even know how to start forgiving but I know one thing, I have to forgive to move on and to find happiness in life. Whatever the problem is or no matter how painful the wound given to us by someone is, we have to forgive them. We have to be the strong people who can forgive. Nobody is perfect, everybody makes mistakes just like how we, ourselves, make mistakes. If we can never forgive, then how are the people going to forgive us?
